More and more people around the world are getting to know each other via the Internet. This is because we do not have time for meetings and communication “live”. Total employment has embraced everyone and everyone: we study, work hard, hurry in a crazy life rhythm to consolidate our position in society, lead an eventful life. But… We don’t have time to stop, to look around us and find that, in fact, despite the active social position, we are lonely. It turns out that behind the daily running for money and success, we do not have enough time for personal life. And this is where technological advances in the form of the Internet come to the rescue. Different social networks and dating sites promise to give us the opportunity to find old friends, get new ones and find a soul mate.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Probably, it is good in the sense that even the loneliest person in this world will be able to feel a little less lonely with the help of such Internet resources. Another thing is if “friends” for example, “facebook” and virtual communication obscure the entire real world.
Anyway, this article will not discuss the harms and benefits of social networks, only the likelihood of building real relationships using the Internet.
If a person is looking for friends – yes, in this case, the Internet can be a good assistant. Interest groups, different fan clubs, hobbies – the choice is unlimited. Indeed, you can make friends with people who have the same hobby, meet them in the “real” at different events and have a full-fledged relationship with your own kind.
As for love, the ability to find a life partner via the Internet – here everything is much more complicated. Is it possible to create real feelings between people who, say, have never touched each other, communicating only via the Internet? You can, for example, communicate with a person via Skype, and thus make up for the lack of eye-to-eye contact; make sure that you are talking to a real person, and not with some picture. But, sitting in front of a computer screen, you will not see how a person behaves in different situations, and it is difficult to find out what kind of person he is.
So, what you can get by getting acquainted and starting a relationship via the Internet:
1) information about what a person likes or dislikes, about his hobbies, activities, etc .; 2) an idea of the appearance of a person and his ability to hold on (using a webcam); 3) eye contact.
Now about what you can not get from communicating on the Internet:
1) tactile contact, which is important: how else will you know whether this is your person or not, without even touching him? After all, at first glance, relying on communication, it can suit you completely, but … It seems that this is definitely “yours”, but you touch the person and … you don’t feel anything: no “current”, no rapid heartbeat. What kind of love is this?; 2) also on Skype you will not learn about the veracity of the words of your counterpart; About his personality, inclinations, etc. The life story may be fictional, the merits are exaggerated, and the shortcomings, on the contrary, are carefully disguised.
It can be argued that even meeting a person “live”, at the beginning of acquaintance, you also do not know anything about his past, character, habits. Yes, that’s right: any new relationship started either online or in life is fraught with a lot of the unknown. So in both cases, your chosen one may lie about himself and first appear to be a different person than he really is. But, you will agree, with a real meeting (meetings), it is easier for you to “bite” it by habits and manners, behavior in general.
Summing up, we can conclude that dating via the Internet is not a bad idea. Only, getting acquainted on Internet sites in order to find love, it is better not to limit yourself to communication at the computer and transfer meetings to the “real”. Thus, you will save yourself from unnecessary disappointments and will be able to develop a full-fledged relationship. At the initial stage of dating, communication via the Internet saves time, it is only important not to delay the process of transition of virtual relationships into real ones. Unless, of course, you want to find love, and not just a pen pal.
As for whether it is even possible to find your soul mate using the Internet. There are many people in the world who were brought together, for example, by a dating site. They live, meet, create families and happy relationships on a par with other people who met in the “usual” way: somewhere at work or in a cafe. It’s not about how people find each other, but how they build their relationships. The ability to open up and not hide behind stereotypes is important here.
One of these stereotypes is strong in the minds of many: on the sites they are looking for dating only in some way inferior people. Or personalities with a bunch of complexes, or some cripples, even with deviations – in short, outcasts. Many people think, like, something is clearly “wrong” with a person, since he is not able to find a couple in the usual way, in his environment. This is utter nonsense! In fact, the Internet is just another path to the same people who walk the streets. It’s just that this path is more concise, accessible and extensive. And people who register on dating sites have the opportunity to find what they want easier and faster. The Internet to search for partners is used mainly by those people who are very busy in everyday life and physically do not have time to go to theaters (restaurants, concerts), to look for their love. It can also be shy people who find it easier to get acquainted with the person they like through the Internet than somewhere on the street. In short, there are a lot of people for whom the Internet serves as an assistant in matters of the heart, and they are by no means flawed. Therefore, there is no reason to be biased against online dating.
Another thing is that on the World Wide Web, as, indeed, on the streets, there are crooks who are ready to use gullible girls and women for selfish purposes. For example, there are personalities who prowl in search of sex slaves, “wallets” and so on. How not to fall for the bait of such subjects, will be written below.
Registering on a dating site and filling out your questionnaire, remember: what gets on the Internet, never disappears from it. Therefore, be careful with the personal information you provide about yourself. Do not talk much about your financial situation and other opportunities: this risks attracting money hunters and gigolos. Don’t post a lot of photos on your profile. Two neutral ones (in the bosom of nature, etc.) are enough, where you can be seen. Frank, “piquant” photos should not be on your page at all, if you do not want to provoke a flood of unambiguous sentences or, worse, that your photos “walk” on pornographic Internet resources.
Of course, it is not forbidden to look for a sexual partner: on many dating sites there is a column where you can directly indicate that you need a person for bed relations. But if you are looking for love, want to date or create a family – do not write about sex even for the sake of jokes: you will be misinterpreted. To let other users of the site know about their intentions, choose a column like: “to create real relationships.”
In the questionnaire you can tell in detail about your hobbies, the qualities for which you are appreciated by friends, indicate your credo, etc. Make the description of yourself interesting, but not overly frank – why, you have already understood. Be sure to specify who you are looking for and what characteristics a person should have. Prepare for the fact that many will write to you. Indecent, as well as off-topic posts are not uncommon on dating sites. Ignore anything irrelevant to what you’re looking for.
When there is a person who interested you – do not rush to act. First, carefully read his profile, pay attention to the photo. You should be alerted if the photo looks like a picture (too unnatural, edited, fuzzy). Also, the “licked” biography raises doubts about whether the real person is hiding behind all this? Many guys with dubious intentions create on dating sites such an image of an ideal man, thereby luring inexperienced, in the sense of selecting applicants for hand and heart, women. Remind yourself that the “picture” of love will not give you, unlike a living earthly person.
If the information in the questionnaire does not cause you suspicion, then start correspondence. Do not immediately agree to a meeting, even if you have the impression that this is love at first sight. A few days of correspondence will be enough, after which do not delay with a real date, since “live” communication with nothing is incomparable. Feeling that you like this person more and more, agree to see each other. For safety, for the first time, agree to meet in a place familiar to you, not too late. Further… A time of miracles and magic! “Jerked”, did your heart beat faster at the sight of him? This is it, Feeling! Who, having felt this on himself, dares to say that you will not find love through the Internet? Everything happens, just do not be afraid to look and try.
Of course, don’t expect too much from dating sites. It happens that it is not possible to get acquainted with the person you like, or no one is suitable at all. From the first time, you can be disappointed to see a completely different person than you imagined at first. The main thing that you should understand is that the success or failure in using dating sites depends on you, on your perception. It is important not to create an image in your head, judging only by communication on the Internet. Seeing a person “live”, you can be unpleasantly struck by the discrepancy between the fictional “picture” and the original. His voice will be different than you imagined, or the manner of dressing, or some other trifle. Your grandfather can also come to the meeting, figuratively speaking: the photo in his profile was put 10 years ago, it turns out …
Treat such situations with humor, but do not put an end to attempts to find love.
We can paraphrase the famous saying: “The ways of love are inscrutable.” Who knows, maybe your “half” is somewhere out there, on the vast expanses of the Internet?